Your graduate is leaving the nest. This can be a hard and emotional time for both you and your child. Their first time living on their own is a monumental moment in your lives.

Dr. Tyler Loy, clinical psychologist at WellSpan Philhaven in York, offers these tips to work through the stressful process of your child heading off to college:

• Have conversations with them about how you will communicate when they’re away.
• When your child leaves home for the first time, it’s important to remember that they’re experiencing a new level of freedom for the first time and mistakes can happen. The best way they can learn is to make those mistakes and learn from them.
• Check in and listen without judgement. Ask “Is there someone on campus who can help?” or “How can I help?” to keep communication open.
• Just knowing that you’re there for your child on this new chapter of their lives can be enough. Trusting in them means a lot.

It’s about you, too

Take care of yourself. Make time for something you enjoy, whether it’s 30 minutes a day to read a book, shop online, or take a relaxing bath. “A lot of parents strive to be perfect all the time,” Dr. Loy says. “Is that sustainable? No. It can lead to burnout very quickly. We can try our best for our kids and can’t pour from an empty cup.”

• Seek social support through friends, other parents at your child’s school, their teacher, or professional counseling. Others are experiencing the same feelings as you, so you’re not alone!
• Try to avoid holding back your feelings but find the appropriate place to share them. Don’t be afraid to reach out for help.
• Optimize evenings to have some fun. Use the opportunity to have a night out with your spouse or friends.

“Remember, things are not always going to go perfectly,” says Dr. Loy. “And that’s ok.”

Have a younger student? Check out our tips for elementary and middle/high schoolers.

Do you need support throughout the school year? WellSpan’s myStrength program offers personalized support for stress, anxiety, sleep and more through digital courses and online tools for individuals. Visit myStrength.com and use the code COMMUNITYSERVICES to get started or call 800-945-4355.