Your child is officially a teenager and can be harder to communicate with, which adds to the stress of the back-to-school season for parents of a middle or high school student.

While we often focus on making sure our kids transition into the school year with no hiccups, it’s just as important for parents to pause and check in on themselves as well.

Dr. Tyler Loy, clinical psychologist at WellSpan Philhaven in York, sees many parents stress this time of year. He offers these tips for parents.

Communicating with your middle or high school student

• Take their stress seriously. Listening more and lecturing less can help keep that line of communication open.
• Support your teen by going to as many events as possible. While they may not say it, your pride is important to them and can encourage trust and communication.
• Schedule quality time to bond with your child by doing something they choose. Growing your relationship can help you feel more connected to them and build trust as well.

It’s about you, too

Make time for something you enjoy, whether it’s 30 minutes a day to read a book, shop online, or take a relaxing bath. “A lot of parents strive to be perfect all the time,” Dr. Loy says. “Is that sustainable? No. It can lead to burnout very quickly. We can try our best for our kids and can’t pour from an empty cup.”

According to Dr. Loy, there are several additional ways you can take some of that stress off your shoulders:

• Have a structured routine for the family to feel more in control. Set bedtime and stick to it so everyone, including you, gets enough sleep.
• Seek social support through friends, other parents at your child’s school, their teacher, or professional counseling. There are others experiencing the same feelings as you, so you’re not alone! Try to avoid holding back your feelings but find the appropriate place to share them. Don’t be afraid to reach out for help.
• Optimize evenings to have some fun. Whether it’s a night out with your spouse or friends, or a fun family adventure, set aside time for the whole family to unwind.

“Remember, things are not always going to go perfectly,” says Dr. Loy. “And that’s ok.”

Have a younger or older student? Check out our tips for elementary schoolers and college students.

Do you need support throughout the school year? WellSpan’s myStrength program offers personalized support for stress, anxiety, sleep and more through digital courses and online tools for individuals. Visit myStrength.com and use the code COMMUNITYSERVICES to get started or call 800-945-4355.